Flu Season

Ugh. Flu season.  LM caught the flu...and got an ear infection at the same time! Poor baby.  It really didn't help that I caught the flu too (probably from him) and was laid out for 2 days, should have been 3.  It's been a week and I still feel like crap!  But enough whining about my sore achey flu ridden self...

LLM has been just fighting the sniffles for 2 months now, on and off again sick with something.  Colds, stuffy noses, ...roseola... and now, the flu plus ear infection.  I couldn't even tell that he had an ear infection, he didn't give any signs that it was bothering him.  I started noticing I was fighting the losing battle with a virus on Sunday, and that evening when the little guy came back home to me I noticed he wasn't feeling so well.  Verified by his daddy who said he spit up his dinner.  (next time daddy...use PUKED instead of spit up if its more than a mouthful)  The next morning he had a fever.  Gave him tylenol which helped and he was eating and drinking fine so off to work I went.  Next thing I know my sitter calls me and tells me he's not eating or drinking and he has a fever of 103.9°F OK well...we get to the doc's office later that evening and she takes a look and then here he turns out to have his very first ear infection AND the flu.

Nothing we can do about the flu...sorry bud. We just gotta let our bodies fight it.  Here's some tylenol/motrin though for the symptoms.

But for the ear infection...antibiotics.  He's not been on those yet. His dad and I are both allergic to penicillin so I asked the doc if it makes him more susceptible to it as well.  She said not necessarily, but amoxicillin is the best one to use for antibiotics so we're gonna try it.... OK doc. I trust ya.  Well in true LLM fashion, he was fine with it.  Actually he quite likes drinking it.  He gets excited when he sees the dosing spoon.

#weverb12, 11

11. spend/save [LIVE]: Are you richer or poorer this year, compared to last year?

First off. What kind of empty question is this? I know the prompts are suppose to be open ended, inspiring reflection but I'm not sure this one really inspires me today.

Financially, I'm poorer. In fact. I'm darn near broke.  I have a spending problem, which doesn't allow for much savings.  Plus having kids is expensive.  I'm ok with that, knowing I'm richer in most of the other aspects of my life.  Wealth isn't about money.  Cliche, but true.  I have grown closer to friends and family.  I have the innocence of LLM and the fascination in everything around us.  I mean, having LLM in my life enriches my life a hundred fold.  That's worth every failing in the past year.  I've branched out and met a whole new group of people whom inspire me every week to get out there.  And, I have a new endeavor which will at some point add more financially to my life as well...at some point.

Financially next year I will probably be broke.  But, I know that would only be temporary.  I can find ways to make more...  In the words of Grandpa George (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) "There's plenty of money out there, they print more every day...but this ticket-there's only five of them in the whole world, and that's all there's ever going to be.  Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?" NO SIR.  

#weverb12, 10.

10. lose [HOPE]: Did you have to say goodbye to a person, or even a cherished object, this year? Take a moment to celebrate the memory

Oh dear... don't get me started.  Though part of me doesn't want to 'celebrate' the memory, I would celebrate the story.  Because if it weren't the story, I wouldn't be who I am today and I certainly would not have LLM in my life.  Every person who comes into and walks out of your life is a lesson.  Every lesson shapes you into the person you're meant to be.

#weverb12 update 8 - 9

Again, the weekend got busy, and though I did post these to Instagram, it never made it's way here.

8. respond [LISTEN]: Do you actively listen to your inner voice/conscience? Describe a time this year you heard and responded to it.

My inner voice is my constant companion.  The little Jiminy Cricket inside has encouraged/restrained/guided me through the ups and downs of this year.  There's been plenty of times I've wanted to impulsively act on anger and many of those times I stopped to listen to that voice that says...wait. breathe. Actions and words have the power to damage, and while they can be forgiven it's never forgotten.  Sometimes you just have to stop and listen. Take the view in from a different perspective.

9. triumph [CREATE]: How were you challenged by a project or goal this year? What did you learn from it?

While there are many things I'm not proud of, and many of those which occurred in this past year, I am proud of how I've been as a mom.  There was one goal I had in mind, and that was to do the best I could do for LLM.  That included breastfeeding for a year. Don't get me wrong. I'd love to not have to pump anymore, but knowing i'm only 3 weeks away from hitting that goal out of 52 weeks?...Dammit I'm gonna finish.

Honestly, I can't think of anything else that I can say "I wouldn't change anything about what I did" except for what I've done as a mom.  It's a learning experience, and I've learned a lot...but despite the hurdles, I came out triumphant.

the weekend. in one post.

Curse the blogger app on my phone. I'd written out the entire post last night recapping the weekend and then    having accidentally hit the wrong button to attach the picture, it deletes my post.  WTF is that?!  I decided it wasn't worth my time to type it all out again on my phone when it would be easier to wait until I had a moment to get it on the computer.  So, here I am.

The weekend was fairly packed trying to get ready for LLM's big birthday bash and celebrating my god daughters birthday among other things.  I was very productive yesterday, really.  Finished the monthly timeline photos of LLM's first year!  Here they are:

snowflakes!

Cute, no?  Note to self: never, ever, cut out individual tiny letters by hand on card stock ever again. Next time, I'm going to Archiver's. They have die cut letters don't they? That was the most time consuming, carpel tunnel inducing, PITA task.

And I also managed to wrap a few Christmas presents as well.  I love wrapping presents.  It's like art for me.  Just another way to be creative haha.

Yeah, I'm kind of weird. LOL

Last night after LLM came home we were playing before dinner time and as I watched him, he's taking more and more steps on his own.  I can't believe he's walking already! Well, I finally got it on video. Woohoo!!

#weverb12 day 7

7. enliven [GROW]: Was there a book or article that inspired you to make a change in your life this year? What was the source and what did you change?

I had to think about this one a little. Normally, there wouldn't be any kind of book that would inspire anything other than my imagination. However in light of all that's happened and in the search for answers I found myself reading something other than the normal paranormal fantasy and romance. Sure there were plenty, but this is one that was new.

It didn't necessarily inspire me to make a change though. I originally read it hoping it would inspire feelings and a desire for more, it didn't for me but it did help me to see things from a different perspective.

All said and done, I would definitely recommend this book to any couple. I believe it's a good resource into understanding one another, especially if there's miscommunication.

What's This?

Newest 'word' in LLM's vocab now is...wait for it...that, or more accurately, "dat".  His new thing is to point and say "sdat"... and then attempt to mimic what I tell him the object is.  Santa comes out as "thna" and angel comes out as "anal"...yeah. LOL he'll get it one day.  

Oh...and newest development, probably learned at MJ's house (or daddy's. certainly not mine), is pouting.    I tried so, extremely hard not to laugh. I was scolding him for trying to play with the glass ornaments and next thing I know he's pouting and crying!  I snorted trying to hold in my laughter.  But I just sat there watching him fake cry and he quickly stopped after a minute and was back to pointing.  It was hilarious.  I tried to get another moment of it on video however, he was done with the pouting by the time I got my phone out. Ça va.... I'm sure I'll get it on camera another time. <insert evil laugh here>

Meanwhile...Tito Mitch came over and took pics for madmommy's christmas cards... here's some of them:

took some for his 1st birthday coming up

used this on his invites :)

candid. just taking a milk break...chillin

stolen ideas from pintrest haha

not so candid but still in the moment. i love this

#weverb12, cook

 6. cook [LIVE]: What was your best recipe/dish of the year? Share it!

Best? Hm, Not sure... Ask my family. LOL.  I love to cook, and the family "loves" my cooking. Or so they say.  Obviously, I like my cooking...simply because it's made to taste the way I like it.  I have a few experimental recipes in the books...

If I make something new (or change up an existing recipe that I've printed off) that I personally really enjoyed, I try to remember to write it down in my 'cookbook'.  I started this binder in college, saving baking recipes I'd printed from the good old internet.  It soon merged into a melange of recipes, appetizers, entrees, etc.  Things I've successfully tried, and things I would like to try.  I'm more of a baker, just because I have a major sweet tooth and love cupcakes. Love isn't even a strong enough word...I'm obsessed with cupcakes. 

So, here's my Vanilla Buttermilk-Up Cupcake recipe which is a mash up of a vanilla/red velvet/soda cake.  I had a mad scientist moment in my kitchen. 

1 1/2 c sugar

1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temp

2 eggs, room temp

2 1/3 c cake flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

~3/4 c buttermilk

~1/4 c cherry 7-up <y'all are gettin' my secret ingredient here ;)

1/2 tsp vanilla powder (= 2 tsp vanilla extract)

1 tsp distilled white vinegar

1. Preheat oven to 350°F

2. Beat sugar and butter until fluffy...I just let it go for about 3-5 mins if I have the time

3. Add eggs, one at at time, beating until incorporated

4. Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and vanilla powder in a separate bowl.

5. In another bowl, mix buttermilk, vinegar, and 7-up (if using vanilla extract add it here instead of w the dry stuff)

6. Add 1/4 of the flour mixture to the batter, then 1/3 of the buttermilk mix.  Alternating dry and wet, ending with the dry mixture

7. Scoop into cupcake liners about half full.  Bake for 18-20 mins.

8. Let cool for 1 min in pan, and then cool completely on wire rack

9. Frost/glaze/etc...whatever.  I personally just use a vanilla cream cheese frosting, as it's my favorite kind of frosting.  

Makes 2-2 1/2 dozen cupcakes

Enjoy!

#weverb12 Day 4

Day 4..experiment

4. experiment [GROW]: What did you do in 2012 that you had never done before? Will you do it again?

Well technically I became a mom in 2011 but 2 says before the new year so I'm gonna count it. But with that, shortly after LLM was born, I discovered within me different person. A stronger person. And I grabbed onto that persona. It's simple really. I changed.

And yes, I'd do it again. I'm learning that stepping out of my comfort zone isn't as scary as I thought. I've learned that successful people do something that terrifies them every day. I'm working on that becoming more me In the process.

It's not a pretty process but, letting everything fall apart at my feet tore me down to my basic innermost self. And I'm working on rebuilding the rest of me without putting the old pieces back in the same place.

#weverb12, reflect and renew

In the spirit of today's prompt,

#weverb12

I'm going to take a moment to talk about this blog encouraging 31 days of reflection and hope for this past year and next, respectively.  It's completely voluntary, responding to the prompts given Dec 1 - 31.  I actually started this on the 1st and hopefully I won't have a fail moment like with my 30 Days of Thanks attempt.

I've been doing these on my instagram feed (@mstsa) which I do keep private, but I'll try to post my reflections here as well.  So, to catch up:

1. compose [CREATE]: Write a haiku for 2012 (bonus: write one for 2013)

2. watch [LIVE]: What movie did you see this year that you would recommend to a friend?

3. stay [LISTEN]: How did you stay in the moment this year?

I have lived in the moment the majority of this year. Life is full of moments, big and small, but we oft forget to appreciate the small ones; the daily moments that make us unique individuals. We have happy moments, sad moments, painful moments, learning moments... taking the time to be aware of all of them and maybe more importantly...allowing them to happen. Having LLM has really helped me to appreciate all the little things. Every smile, every kiss, every word. Life is a wonderful thing and I've attempted this year not to squander the gifts we are given every day.

As the saying goes:

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow's a Mystery, Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the Present.

11 months

Yikes.  It's hard to believe it's almost been a year already.  It's incredible to see how much LLM has grown and developed in such a short amount of time.  Hell, it's interesting to see how much I've grown and developed in this year right along side him.

Today, I witnessed him take about 4 steps on his own! Getting up in the middle of MJs living room and "falling forward" the few steps to the coffee table. I'm quite certain he wasn't aware of what happened even after MJ and I were excitedly clapping and cheering. He followed suit of course clapping and smiling like usual. Well. There it is. He's walking. I'm done for.

Silly child. Had to take him in to the Dr to see about his cold. I thought I heard him wheezing a bit but according to the doc it's just a bad cold. Fine by me. No nebulizer! But while we were there they took his weight. 17 lbs 9 oz. at least he's growing!

30 Days of Thanks...fail.

Well, that didn't last long.  I fell into another small rut the past 2 weeks... stress and hormones and the like.  Not conducive to self motivation.  For several days, I was just drained in every way possible. Work, both day job and business venture, and baby daddy issues, and LLM's birthday planning....way to make a truly mad madmommy out of me.

LLM spent Thanksgiving with his dad down south visiting his other grandparents.  Part of me was distraught about that and it was contributing to my stress.  But it was good for me, as I got to relax and focus on some of my own things for a few days.  Go out, spend time with friends...etc.  Making MadMommy just a little less 'mad'.  So, although I didn't get to spend his first Turkey day with him, I'm thankful that I was able to get a reboot this past weekend.  I was so happy when he came home on Sunday...but now he's sick. AGAIN.  My poor little punk'in.  Mommy needs to take more vitamins for you. (Yep, still breastfeeding! and yes, totally ready for that part to be done...just one more month mommy, just one more month and you've hit that goal) And perhaps be more diligent in giving you your vitamins as well.  

Did I ever mention how careful LLM is?  He's very curious, but he's also very cautious.  I'm fairly certain he's able to start walking on his own now, albeit the baby wobble version, however he does not like to be unstable.  Able to stand on his own, squat down and pick things up....he's a pro at maneuvering around in his walker, and I can barely keep up when he wants to bolt holding my hands.  But he won't do it himself.  He looks for something to hold on to before going.  Even while holding my hands, its only a light touch, as if he just wants assurance that I'll be there if he falls.  I'm happy to do it, but my back says otherwise.  I've seen him take one step unassisted (from the toilet to the bathtub...all of 8" clearance).  He starts to go, but when he realizes there's nothing holding himself up other than himself, he stops, slowly lowers himself to the ground and crawls.  I suppose he'll get there in his own time.  I'm in no hurry...as soon as he's walking that's a whole new set of mischief he's bound to get into.  

My sweet, sweet boy is now learning the concept of sharing.  This makes me extremely thankful for having MJ as a nanny.  Having exposure to all those kids, being in that environment is beneficial to his social skills.  He's spoiled rotten at home. But, I'm trying to teach him to share.  I let him "feed" me dinner last night.  He sat on the table grabbing my fork and putting it in my mouth...and, occasionally bringing the fork to his mouth too!  He also has been sharing his food with me as well...  Giving me a bite of his bread before taking his own bite and then giving me more.  It's slobbery but I'll put up with it for the sake of teaching him.  Perhaps soon he'll try to feed himself with his spoon...maybe when its just me and him though so grandma and great grandma won't keep interrupting trying to clean him off.  He's gonna get messy...wait til he's done!

On the other side of things, he's also learning how to test the boundaries.  Little Punk.  He definitely understands when I tell him not to do something.  But sometimes...he does it just to see.  And he knows...oh, he knows.  Example, he knows that he can play with the lotion bottle but not put it in his mouth.  I have to keep reminding him of course, but he knows.  And when I do remind him, he turns it into a game.  

MM: "Clay don't put that in your mouth please"

LLM: (takes bottle out of mouth, and smiles)

MM: "Thank you baby"

LLM: (smiles bigger, opens mouth and moves to put bottle back in mouth)

MM: "Clay..."

LLM: (stops..stares...laughs...)

...ok, so how do I not smile and laugh when he does?  It's the cutest laugh ever!  So, that's his game now. Silly boy. SMH

30 Days of Thanks, Day 11

Day 11, Today I'm thankful for:

Random warm spells.  Today, well the whole weekend in particular, we had one of those random weather moments where a warm front comes through right before the cold.  It will drop 30° by the evening but during the day it's been nice.  Windy, but warm....-ish.  It gives me the opportunity to do some things outside before it gets really cold and winter sets in.  Then I'll kick it up and start the holiday planning. AND LLM's first birthday!! I'm so excited.

30 Days of Thanks, Day 10

Day 10, Today I'm thankful for:

Sorority sisters. I remember when I was deciding to join with my friends in bringing a chapter of alpha Kappa Delta Phi to our school.  I remember trying to 'convince' my dad it was going to benefit me.  See, in the Philippines sororities are notoriously known for extreme hazing and to him there was this imprinted negative connotation in his mind.  I remember specifically saying "it will help me network all across the nation", which sold it.  He's big on the ever true cliche of It's not what you know, it's who you know. I remember my parents telling me they were afraid for me because of how shy I was, not sure if I was going to be able to make friends while I was away at school.  I showed them didn't I?

And network I did.  Some of my closest friends are my sorority sisters, and most of them don't live locally!  That being said, I used the network to my advantage.  It's fabulous, and I got the chance to meet such wonderful women.  Their passion inspired mine and vice versa.

30 Days of Thanks, Day 9

Day 9, Today I'm thankful for:

Unconditional friends.  These people are my family.  They don't judge you for your faults.  They try to understand as best they can, and if they simply cannot understand, know that you might never get it unless you find yourself in the other person's shoes, thinking their thoughts, seeing it with their eyes.  I've been through a lot and I've admitted my faults but these friends have been there 100% of the time.  Some of them really just don't understand, but they aren't going to try to.  They don't necessarily support my decisions, but they won't belittle my decisions.  I'm thankful I have those kinds of friends, true friends, because I know I'm not alone. I will always have my family.

30 Days of Thanks, Day 8

Day 8, Today I'm thankful for:

My therapist.  I haven't talked to her today, but I'm not sure I need to call her.  One of the things I've learned to do since beginning therapy over a year ago is to breathe and talk myself through those bad moments...telling myself that this is just a moment.  Tomorrow will be better.  So I'm thankful that she's helped me to be aware.  To be conscious of my thoughts and emotions.  Because just being aware of those help me to control where it takes me.

I'm going to need baby cuddles tonight.  I'm glad he's coming home with me today.  Hopefully he's not too opposed to cuddling tonight.

30 Days of Thanks, Day 7

Day 7, Today I'm thankful for:

My job. I'm lucky to have a job. When these trying times have forced many, good, hard working people out of theirs.  I can't fully empathise with those who are having a hard time in this economy, few of my peers are in those positions.  My co-workers are complaining about the recent re-election of President Obama into a 2nd term. While politically speaking I'm a tad more right-winged, I cannot blame the masses for putting their faith into the man who is pledging to help everyone to attain their rights.  I didn't vote, to be honest. For one, I don't know where I was suppose to go to vote.  But more, I have no preference for either of the fools.

So, I'm just grateful that these days, I'm gainfully employed.  Keeping my sanity in tact with the ability to be a career woman, business woman, and the madmommy.  It's a full plate, I admit... but I'm going to fight to keep it that way.

30 Days of Thanks, Day 6

Day 6, Today I'm thankful for:

My Mary Kay pink bubble.  You'd never think I was the type of person to sell anything, let alone skin care and makeup.  Life smacked me in the face recently and I needed something to get me out there again.  At first picking up the business was focused on getting a few extra bucks here and there to add to the future life I want to have for me and LLM.  I was half in for most of the summer, then one day something just kind of clicked in for me. Something about the girls I'd met through the meetings woke something in me that had been dormant for a while.  A purpose.  Not just for me, but for LLM too.  It's a revival, motivation, an awakening... and every week no matter how shitty my day/week has been... I come back alive and ready to take it on.  If only for just that moment.  But those are the moments to hang on to.  Those are the moments that will add up to something greater.  And boy, I'm holding on...

Forming words

What is considered his "first word"? I mean... is mama considered a valid "word" when he's just saying sounds? Or is it the first attempt to associate a word with an object? Or is it when he successfully, continuously, associates a word with an object?  But then how do you know???

I'm thinking too much.  Either way, pure awesomeness ensued when yesterday morning LLM said "nahnah" while reaching for the banana that grandma was cutting up for his breakfast.  It got me thinking about if that's his first word or what would be considered his first word.  It's the first time (that I know of) that he'd said something remotely close to a word while reaching for something.  I mean... other than mama/dada when reaching for me...

This morning he said "aht" at the cat.  Holy little talker Batman! He's growing up... Wahhhhhh.... where's my snuggly baby?

Getting to be a big boy

30 Days of Thanks, Day 5

Day 5, Today I'm thankful for:

MY BED.  LLM has been waking up the past week at least once a night....at 12.  And then again at 3.  AM... and then daylights savings began and threw that off even more.  I'm thoroughly exhausted.  Going to bed at 8:30pm isn't too early right?

30 Days of Thanks, Day 4

Day 4, Today I'm thankful for:

Ombre. My lazy broke ass can't afford to touch up or re-color my doo.  But thankfully the ombre look is in and the caramel peekaboos are looking fabulous.

30 Days of Thanks, Day 3

Day 3, Today I'm thankful for:

Caffeine. Don't laugh. I needed it today. LLM decided he was gonna revert and wake up every 3 hours. I'm glad however, not because I eventually gave up and cuddled with him in bed but because he was nursing. ie. he was eating/drinking! Praise The Lord. For breakfast he had pancakes and bananas and kept it down. Totally turning the corner right? Well, in a way...

I get back from the chiropractor and lo and behold. He's covered in rashes. HEART ATTACK!! Get him to the doctor who takes a good once over, checks out his chart that says he had a super high fever just days before and goes, ah.. It's roseola. I'm like... Explain.. Por favor.

So, learned something new today. Roseola.. Much like chicken pox in that once you get it you can't get it again, is a virus that causes high fever for 2-3 days (check) and then produces a rash...(check). I wish I'd known about that ahead of time. Woulda saved my heart the adrenaline rush...but that woke me up for sure.

30 Days of Thanks, Day 2

Day 2, Today I'm thankful for:

Sunrises.  Every sunrise is a new day, a new start, a new potential.  Every sunrise brings new light, new hope, new dreams. A new opportunity to live out loud and on purpose.

sick, but still one happy little boy

30 Days of Thanks, Day 1

Day 1:

Today I'm thankful for:

My boss.  LLM is home sick with some kind of respiratory virus (sad face!!), having needing nebulizer treatment 3 times a day.  Today, I just got the machine and called my boss who never has a problem with me not being at work for things like this.  He genuinely cares about the well-being of those that work with him and understands sometimes, work isn't a priority.  I wanted to be home to keep him as comfortable as possible and letting him get as much rest as he needed. And I was able to.

look at those eyes... i'm so sorry baby.

10 Months.

I know all moms say this but.... MY LITTLE MAN IS A GENIUS!!! ^_^ LOL

Ok, let's see.  This month LLM has been the little traveler.  He went to Indianapolis with his daddy and visited with Mama K and Papa J.  I have no idea how that went...someone didn't tell me.  But as soon as they got back, I noticed LLM not eating as well as he normally did.  He threw up a few times, but not enough to concern me or anyone, though I could tell something was a bit off.  I paid no mind to it, assuming it was due to the hecticness of the travelling and just watched him while I prepared to take him off to Florida to visit my Disney friends.

He was acting normal and fine so I took him with me to Disney.  YAY! His first Disney trip.  Admittedly, this was much more for my happiness than his as he still has no clue about Disney (other than maybe watching Disney Jr in the morning). I was anxious about the plane trip, not knowing how he'd take the pressure changes etc.  But not so anxious to not even consider taking him since it was a trip to Orlando, and without an inkling of a doubt there wouldn't be other small, possibly obnoxious children on board.  He was an angel for the most part. But, next time...I vow not to forget his milk and bottles and sippy cup.  I became that awkward mom that nurses in public.  But what was I suppose to do?  LLM was starving and tired. I wasn't going to sit in that tiny ass airplane bathroom...gross!  At least I had a blanket... The way there he was wide awake and fine for all but the last half hr when he was hungry.  The flight back, well lets say we both passed out most of the trip, him a lot longer than me.  And when he was awake on that flight, he was happy...and even tried to play with the baby behind us who wasn't having such an easy time with the plane.  I'm so proud of my punk'in.  He kept trying to engage his little friend to try and cheer him up with smiles and talking.

So we didn't do much there, I didn't want to over stimulate him...  I mean just being there is overstimulating LOL.  But we did do a character lunch and go to Mickey's Not so Scary Halloween.  SO FUN!

naptime was on madmommys belly instead of the pnp... 

Day 1: Walked around Downtown Disney all day with some family that lives in Orlando, and my Disney friends and her kids.

Happy Happy Baby!! 

Day 2:


The little guy was such a happy baby the whole weekend, he only fussed when he finally realized how hungry or tired he was.  I mean literally he'd be ok 'til we sat down for 5 mins.  The rest of the time he was just taking everything in.  Someone didn't like the fireworks, but admittedly we were RIGHT in the middle of it all so it was quite loud. But again, if I held him, he was ok.

my little ewok

Character lunch: I wasn't sure how he'd react to the characters at first.  Honestly, my thought was that he'd stare at them for a while in confusion because he'd never seen such strange looking people.  So when Goofy happened to be the first to come up to the table, I thought nothing of it.  Until I look down and LLM is screaming in terror trying to scramble out of the high chair and into my lap.  I'm so mean, I was laughing at my child's terror. I held him though and he calmed down so when Mickey and the rest of the gang stopped by he just held on to me watching them with wide eyes.  I thought...OK then.  He's a lot more cognizant than most kids this age.  I mean the only reason I didn't think he'd react that way was because he's so friendly with other people. We'll see how he does with Santa next month...

OK, now to the genius comment.  So LLM's got a passion for music.  Anything music he'll stop what he's doing and if he likes it, starts bouncing. He LOVES the piano, and you can tell he has a preference for the piano over the keyboard.  Ms Jill has an old, out of tune, broken piano and my parents have a keyboard - which sounds like a piano still but you know, if you're a pianist...theres a difference in the feel.

Here's my little Beethoven on Ms Jill's piano.  You can see the missing keys.  And its dreadfully out of tune but the idea is there. He likes to bang on it.  

Genius moment: (and yes, I know I'm being dramatic and it's really just a random event but...) he was banging away while Ms Jill and I were talking and all of a sudden we hear... dun dun dun dunnnnn a la Beethoven's 5th Symphony.  

It was one of those....

moments LOL. 

happy 10 months <3

9 amazing months

9 months and 2 days old! 16lbs 12oz, 29" tall!

I could have sworn he tipped the scales a bit more than that.  But I'll take it as a kind of blessing in that my back which has been acting all old and shit gets a little reprieve knowing that he's only in the 3rd percentile in weight.  Now if only I could find a solution for my pulled glutes...

Well, I've been super busy lately trying to get my life back on track.  Running around playing Mary Kay consultant, SuperMommy, and Professional.  Doesn't leave much time for blogging.  Well that and since I sit at a computer all day I prefer my downtime to be spent a little more artsy on the creativity scale.  Nail art is my new big thing to do to unwind at the end of the day.  So blogging isn't on the top of my to do list unfortunately but I'll do my best to update at least once a month and on major milestones.

Little Man is pretty much right on target with every developmental stage at this point so as the good ol' doc said.. "well, he's perfect on paper".  Of course I'd just go ahead and say he's perfect, but I'm quite biased.  All I know is he's an amazing little boy, who rarely complains or cries, and just makes everyone around him happy.  Sure, he's needy, what baby isn't?  He loves to be around people, doesn't like to play by himself.  Actually, for the most part has very little interest in playing with his own toys.  At the end of the day, he's more content in my arms watching me cook dinner.  When he's crabby because he's sick or tired, he can be clingy without liking to be held which is hard to deal with, but even then it's nothing like the stories I've heard of some kids.

He's cruising along the furniture now, getting braver and more sure of himself.  Although he still is very cautious when getting up to stand or getting back to the floor.  We've only had a handful of tumbles this whole time he's been learning how to move around.

My sweet boy is figuring out how to give 'high fives' and kisses.  Sometimes grabbing my face and planting a big wet, slobbery kiss right on my mouth whenever he wants attention and I'm talking to someone else.

He's so, so curious, I may need to make a sensory book for him with buckles, zippers, and ribbons and such.  Loves music and rattles...even tries to play with MadMommys prescription bottles since they sound like rattles when you shake them.

We have 3 teeth, a 4th one for sure on the way in the next week or so.  Normally very quiet but he does have his moods where he's pretty much babbling non stop.  And his smiles and giggles could nourish my soul forever.

after his bath in his glow in the dark jammies, madmommy decided it was time for a mohawk

little man proudly posing so madmommy could show his aunties how  much he loves his new outfit

playing beethoven. ok, just pounding on an old piano but still got mad when i  so rudely interrupted his madskills

ALL DISNEY MOVIES 1937-2008

Admittedly this is probably more for my benefit than little mans....

Walt Disney Movie Collection 1937-2008 

1937 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R9C1JEM7
1940 - Fantasia :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0B9UGDN31940 - Pinocchio :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VDE04OUB1941 - Dumbo :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G77SH6GR1941 - The Reluctant Dragon :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UDAHA8HK1942 - Bambi :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R59V2EIA1942 - Saludos Amigos :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=466JBY841943 - Victory Through Air Power :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H9WOQFW11945 - The Three Caballeros :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4BPDPBLK1946 - Make Mine Music :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5RG992BE1946 - Song of the South :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SE66ASI71947 - Fun and Fancy Free :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QXI013MC1948 - Melody Time :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=I6X6U6701949 - The Adventures Of Ichabod and Mr. Toad :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NUBFW4E31950 - Cinderella :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FSX4JVZO1951 - Alice in Wonderland :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T1ZEQ27A1953 - Peter Pan :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9H4VDBK81954 - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=IUOLW07G1955 - Lady and the Tramp :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YXT9CLP01957 - Old Yeller :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3M7XPJT11959 - Darby O’Gill and the Little People :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=72WHKK531959 - Sleeping Beauty :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZP6S4VCC1960 - Swiss Family Robinson :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VG0OXCO81961 - 101 Dalmatians :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TQIK2L4E1963 - The Sword in the Stone :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G3ACAFHT1964 - Mary Poppins :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WAJ94GSU1965 - That Darn Cat :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NKLZ4SQ01967 - The Jungle Book :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K00B163D1968 - The Love Bug :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3OOH82EZ1970 - The Aristocats :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PS6ZQOX81971 - Bedknobs and Broomsticks :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=THED64CH1971 - The Million Dollar Duck :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=C45MGDE31973 - Robin Hood :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SEILS5OZ1974 - Herbie Rides Again :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K7YEWAST1977 - Pete’s Dragon :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DHVODVLU1977 - The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JL6Q1W4P1977 - The Rescuers :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HDCK298D1981 - The Fox and the Hound :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZDSED6081982 - A Disney Christmas Gift :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=AHHNE2ND1985 - The Black Cauldron :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=W6G5YU0L1986 - The Great Mouse Detective :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SC7I0GOH1988 - Oliver & Company :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BZJRVVPE1988 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VJSFCTNP1989 - The Little Mermaid :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DVG11KO41990 - Ducktales The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XZWIL7IC1990 - The Rescuers Down Under :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RX3S0DBJ1991 - Beauty and the Beast :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GQEXAOQG1993 - The Nightmare Before Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CLPOLI5Y1994 - Aladdin -The Return of Jafar :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QJGIHJ5F1994 - Aladdin :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CNG77EP71994 - The Lion King :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VUFSDEV01995 - A Goofy Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VJDXLAWR1995 - Pocahontas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OB1VLPJJ1995 - Toy Story :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TSG5QTZM1996 - Aladdin and the King of Thieves :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9WI76MY01996 - James and the Giant Peach :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G3OVX6WG1996 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EUXBPLC01997 - Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BNYPGAA51997 - Hercules :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F62OB7MP1997 - Winnie The Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=M1YQ7GAI1998 - A Bug’s Life :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZV7YHWQ71998 - Belle’s Magical World :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1DDSEPLQ1998 - Mulan :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NLK2WYIB1998 - Pocahontas II - Journey to a New World :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EBF8INT61998 - The Lion King 2 - Simba’s Pride :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ESVTYQDO1999 - Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8HGBWTEO1999 - Tarzan :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4YG4KUG31999 - Toy Story 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=070LZ0621999 - Winnie The Pooh-Seasons of Giving :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GLZLY9Z32000 - An Extremely Goofy Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Z1WRI9ID2000 - Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command, The Adventure Begins :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SAXZT2QP2000 - Dinosaur :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1J85R9582000 - Fantasia 2000 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JDHRJT8A2000 - The Emperor’s New Groove :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GDW62S8F2000 - The Little Mermaid 2-Return to the Sea :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=E19TDQR02000 - The Tigger Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8G7VDQTJ2001 - Atlantis The Lost Empire :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KDFJLIC12001 - Lady And The Tramp II - Scamp’s Adventure :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CVHHY7XA2001 - Mickey’s Magical Christmas-Snowed In at the House of Mouse :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=U3G1R1QW2001 - Monsters, Inc. :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PHJT0P8Z2002 - Cinderella II - Dreams Come True :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PH4G7LJQ2002 - Lilo And Stitch :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TNIC9M8B2002 - Mickey’s House of Mouse - The Villains :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Z73S4Z5J2002 - Return to Never Land :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=MGCJVZC52002 - Tarzan & Jane :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=79TKL0842002 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Q1YIP40O2002 - Treasure Planet :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FP2MLN132002 - Winnie the Pooh-A Very Merry Pooh Year :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NBYQYPPG2003 - 101 Dalmatians 2 - Patch’s London Adventure :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3JP3MP2L2003 - Atlantis 2 Milo’s Return :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=LMBD1E5Z2003 - Brother Bear :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KJKO7Y4T2003 - Finding Nemo :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1VAU2XYQ2003 - Kim Possible - A Stitch In Time :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DYUAF6WM2003 - Piglet’s Big Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1A183GMF2003 - Stitch! The Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G61NDSEW2003 - The Jungle Book 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=P7E6AE922004 - Home On The Range :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BDKJBQF22004 - Kim Possible - The Villain Files :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=248DVYR92004 - Mickey Donald Goofy-The Three Musketeers :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GV0PDQLH2004 - Mickeys Twice Upon a Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=99PVVXYV2004 - Mulan II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=S0MLNTR02004 - The Incredibles :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OCEBDZLL2004 - The Lion King 1-1.5 - Hakuna Matata :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=450ZC7XS2004 - Winnie the Pooh - Springtime With Roo :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OSGHXV9K2005 - Chicken Little :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WMFFHBOS2005 - Disney’s Christmas Favourites :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=D5P74PIW2005 - Kim Possible - So The Drama :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HSGIW6UE2005 - Kronk’s New Groove :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ELADT7B02005 - Lilo and Stitch 2 - Stitch has a Glitch :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WLF26OLK2005 - Pooh’s Heffalump Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R5SYCL1H2005 - Tarzan II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T8KTMBWF2006 - Bambi II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SPR6QUNH2006 - Brother Bear 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HIYGCVJ52006 - Cars :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SUATPQD42006 - Leroy & Stitch :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1XQJ8KV92006 - The Fox and the Hound 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EFK91H0M2007 - Cinderella III - A Twist in Time :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OGTKVZJ02007 - Disney Princess Enchanted Tales - Follow Your Dreams :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5HDNM4BJ2007 - Enchanted :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NG2ZUPH82007 - Meet The Robinsons :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NQ2EL7D12008 - Bolt :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PDZL74982008 - The Little Mermaid - Ariel’s Beginning :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0SRTNIBR2008 - Tinker Bell :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T9YG4HP12008 - Wall-E :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6UIJ1FWK

The ugly.

I don't particularly experience "mom guilt" or "nanny envy", but there are times when I do feel the pangs of guilt and envy when it comes to the little man.  Most are just slight pangs, quickly squashed by reminding myself that a. this is the life that's best for both of us and b. its normal.  However, there are those that are not just slight pangs...these are full blown panic attack inducing mind distortions.  These moments tend to occur when involving the little man's daddy.  Now, technically I'm still married to the man so I guess he's still my husband.  But I've been living apart from him now for several months.  And if you're counting...that's most of little man's little life so far.

The little guy has been amazing adjusting between the two homes, though getting his daddy to stick to an actual schedule made my life a living hell for a while.  I really can't say anything bad about him, he is a great loving father.  But...he and I are VERY different.  It'll be interesting to see who the little one will take after more. If I could guess, I can see a good balance between the 2.  Hopefully the better parts of both of us.

Anyway, slightly off topic. So having the 2 homes, I do often have to relinquish time with him to his father.  Which is fine.  Most of the time.  Lately, I've noticed that when he's with me (he sleeps in a pack and play for now...crib is on its way), he wakes up once or twice a night.  I've asked the 'husband' about it and he claims he sleeps fine and eats well and is happy and everything when he's with him.  It makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong.  Not that I'm doing anything wrong...but why? I mean... he spends the majority of his time with me, so he should be more comfortable right?  I'm not sure... it makes me unsure of myself. It makes me insecure.  I hate that.  I'm a mean, ugly person when I'm jealous and insecure...and that comes out with the baby daddy.  It's not a good time right now for me.  I'm happier than I would be if I still lived with the husband but in some ways...it makes me so angry and jealous when the little guy behaves more for daddy than me.

8 months...and 10 days.

Doh! I'm such a bad blogger. I mean how hard is it to come up with something, anything, when it concerns le little man.  These days, it's practically something new every week.  There's no excuse that would adequately pacify the future me reading back on this and wondering, why didn't you post an update?!?!  So, MadMommy of the future, I'm sorry.  Things have been cah-ray-zee. If you remember...

Well, let's recap.  Up until about mid-August, little man has been exclusively breastfed.  It was working, why mess with a good thing.  Not to mention the monetary benefits of being a food factory for the little guy.  But as fate would have it, I contracted an eye infection...in both eyes! So I needed antibiotic eye drops.  I'm not of those that believe it's dangerous for me to breastfeed while on antibiotics but still, if I could avoid it, I would.  Unfortunately this happened the week before I was planning on going on an extended weekend away from the baby, AND he had a growth spurt that week so he was eating more.  All my frozen reserves were used up and I had to supplement with formula until I could feed him again.  I'm still supplementing with formula to try and build up a reserve again, but we'll see how that goes.  Anyway, in true LLM fashion, he was totally fine with the temporary switch between breastmilk and formula.  And we both survived the 4 days apart, though I missed him dearly in the evenings before bed.

Dinner time is fun, and funny...

Somewhere in this past month, he'd learned how to pull himself up...and in the past 2 weeks or so became frighteningly good at it.  

For Labor Day, we took a trip to Lake Geneva and hung out at the beach.  His first beach experience!  I'm not sure why it took this long to get to the beach this summer, but oh well.  It was fun.  Little man didn't know what to do.  I took him into the water, and slowly lowered him in as the water was fairly cool, obviously...its a lake, not the bathtub.  He didn't like it.  Though he was interested in it, wondering about it.  But he preferred the safety of madmommy's arms, clinging like a little monkey.  But other than being anxious about the new surroundings, he enjoyed the day...

And yes, that is a picture of him eating funnel cake.

The other day I saw him stand up on his own, but I didn't have enough time to get the camera out before he plopped down again. I was thinking it wouldn't happen again for a while, until he remembers how to but that same evening he just wouldn't stop standing up... I was able to snatch several photos and a partial video before he 'fell'! Crazy kid...

Officially standing on his own. Oh dear...

Well...that's all the news for now.  Hopefully I update this again in a more timely fashion.  Especially now that in a month or two he may be walking....he's already getting into mischief. Little punk.

no fui yo!

(It wasn't me!)  I've been neglecting my madmommy blog duties. Too much going on!! LLM keeps growing!

he looks so huge laying on grandpas belly

The last couple weeks have been pretty interesting.  The day following the last post LLM got his first cold.  It wasn't a bad one, but you could tell just how congested he was and how hard it was for him to sleep because of it.  Despite that, however, his demeanor wasn't too different from normal.   A bit more grumpy, but I think that's due to the lack of sleep.  I still felt awful though, watching him struggle.

I was concerned about his cold being too much of a bother since I'd made an appointment to get him some pictures from Picture People at the beginning of the month.  He was somewhat irritable but it wasn't too bad.  Who can blame the poor guy having a cold and being thrown in front of a strange lady going "hi clayton! aboooo aboooo"?  Hahahaha.  I've got more images on my computer at home, so whenever I get the chance I'll upload the best ones here.  But, finally after 7 months, er rather 6 months, I finally have a framed picture of him at my desk! WOOO!!

Hut Hut!

Every day LLM gets better at crawling, and now is learning to pull himself up to a standing position.  I've seen him stand on his own for a second or 2 as well.  Dangerous. He's not suppose to be walking so soon right?!  

I've learned that he does NOT like to be contained or restricted, especially by himself, unless its nap/bedtime.  He will only protest a little if he's going into his high chair when he's hungry.  I think he's learning that high chair = food time.  But I don't dare walk away after he's strapped in, even when someone else is next to him.  He gets angry that I'm leaving.  More on this later. But if he knows I'm about to feed him he's pretty happy.

Then, there's meal time... to which he's taken to grabbing everything that comes close. He seems quite content when I let him feed himself.  I still feed him purees to make sure he's getting enough food, but now I've started to give him small bits of mashables - bananas, sweet potato, etc. and have experimented with other foods too.  Like green beans, tortillas, and chicken... yes, chicken (shhh...don't tell my mom).  He loves chicken.  Totally a carnivore. I'm definitely going to try scrambled eggs soon.

meal times are getting messier....

Now, on to his awareness.  I've always known that he recognizes me as his mom, but it still amazes me how he lights up when he sees me.  He also recognizes my voice, and if I'm not visible and he hears me he looks around for a bit.  He doesn't cry out at all if he doesn't see me, even if he hears me.  It's like he knows I'm there even if he can't see me.  Which is a big milestone right? People/object permanence.  He's starting to get it, but there is a bit of separation anxiety.  If I turn my back on him to leave he's somewhat upset.  Admittedly though, it's so hard to leave him sometimes especially when he's smiling at me.  My mom has a harder time leaving him, I think, than I do when he's smiling.  Hahah

No fui yo...I believe little man has started to understand NO.  Either that, or he hears it in my stern voice and knows that I'm not playing.  Last night he was trying to eat a plastic bag.  I grabbed it before he got it to his mouth and said "No, Clayton. Give it to me" and he froze and let go.  I said thank you and kissed him and he resumed playing.  I just put the bag to the side and then he started going for it again.  Before he grabbed it I said "Uh uh, NO" and he stopped and stared between the plastic bag and me.  I thanked and kissed him again and this time just took the bag away completely.  But, being mobile, he ventured off into another part of the room and soon found the cord for the lamp.  I had to scold him again when I saw him playing with it. And he stopped for a while, sitting there looking at me.  As soon as I looked away though he went for it again.  Little punk... I had to take him away from it and place him by his toys again.  Oh boy, things are starting to get interesting. :-P