Day 3, Today I'm thankful for:
Caffeine. Don't laugh. I needed it today. LLM decided he was gonna revert and wake up every 3 hours. I'm glad however, not because I eventually gave up and cuddled with him in bed but because he was nursing. ie. he was eating/drinking! Praise The Lord. For breakfast he had pancakes and bananas and kept it down. Totally turning the corner right? Well, in a way...
I get back from the chiropractor and lo and behold. He's covered in rashes. HEART ATTACK!! Get him to the doctor who takes a good once over, checks out his chart that says he had a super high fever just days before and goes, ah.. It's roseola. I'm like... Explain.. Por favor.
So, learned something new today. Roseola.. Much like chicken pox in that once you get it you can't get it again, is a virus that causes high fever for 2-3 days (check) and then produces a rash...(check). I wish I'd known about that ahead of time. Woulda saved my heart the adrenaline rush...but that woke me up for sure.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
30 Days of Thanks, Day 2
Day 2, Today I'm thankful for:
Sunrises. Every sunrise is a new day, a new start, a new potential. Every sunrise brings new light, new hope, new dreams. A new opportunity to live out loud and on purpose.
Sunrises. Every sunrise is a new day, a new start, a new potential. Every sunrise brings new light, new hope, new dreams. A new opportunity to live out loud and on purpose.
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| sick, but still one happy little boy |
Thursday, November 1, 2012
30 Days of Thanks, Day 1
Day 1:
Today I'm thankful for:
My boss. LLM is home sick with some kind of respiratory virus (sad face!!), having needing nebulizer treatment 3 times a day. Today, I just got the machine and called my boss who never has a problem with me not being at work for things like this. He genuinely cares about the well-being of those that work with him and understands sometimes, work isn't a priority. I wanted to be home to keep him as comfortable as possible and letting him get as much rest as he needed. And I was able to.
Today I'm thankful for:
My boss. LLM is home sick with some kind of respiratory virus (sad face!!), having needing nebulizer treatment 3 times a day. Today, I just got the machine and called my boss who never has a problem with me not being at work for things like this. He genuinely cares about the well-being of those that work with him and understands sometimes, work isn't a priority. I wanted to be home to keep him as comfortable as possible and letting him get as much rest as he needed. And I was able to.
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| look at those eyes... i'm so sorry baby. |
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
10 Months.
I know all moms say this but.... MY LITTLE MAN IS A GENIUS!!! ^_^ LOL
Ok, let's see. This month LLM has been the little traveler. He went to Indianapolis with his daddy and visited with Mama K and Papa J. I have no idea how that went...someone didn't tell me. But as soon as they got back, I noticed LLM not eating as well as he normally did. He threw up a few times, but not enough to concern me or anyone, though I could tell something was a bit off. I paid no mind to it, assuming it was due to the hecticness of the travelling and just watched him while I prepared to take him off to Florida to visit my Disney friends.
He was acting normal and fine so I took him with me to Disney. YAY! His first Disney trip. Admittedly, this was much more for my happiness than his as he still has no clue about Disney (other than maybe watching Disney Jr in the morning). I was anxious about the plane trip, not knowing how he'd take the pressure changes etc. But not so anxious to not even consider taking him since it was a trip to Orlando, and without an inkling of a doubt there wouldn't be other small, possibly obnoxious children on board. He was an angel for the most part. But, next time...I vow not to forget his milk and bottles and sippy cup. I became that awkward mom that nurses in public. But what was I suppose to do? LLM was starving and tired. I wasn't going to sit in that tiny ass airplane bathroom...gross! At least I had a blanket... The way there he was wide awake and fine for all but the last half hr when he was hungry. The flight back, well lets say we both passed out most of the trip, him a lot longer than me. And when he was awake on that flight, he was happy...and even tried to play with the baby behind us who wasn't having such an easy time with the plane. I'm so proud of my punk'in. He kept trying to engage his little friend to try and cheer him up with smiles and talking.
So we didn't do much there, I didn't want to over stimulate him... I mean just being there is overstimulating LOL. But we did do a character lunch and go to Mickey's Not so Scary Halloween. SO FUN!
Day 1: Walked around Downtown Disney all day with some family that lives in Orlando, and my Disney friends and her kids.
Day 2:
The little guy was such a happy baby the whole weekend, he only fussed when he finally realized how hungry or tired he was. I mean literally he'd be ok 'til we sat down for 5 mins. The rest of the time he was just taking everything in. Someone didn't like the fireworks, but admittedly we were RIGHT in the middle of it all so it was quite loud. But again, if I held him, he was ok.
Character lunch: I wasn't sure how he'd react to the characters at first. Honestly, my thought was that he'd stare at them for a while in confusion because he'd never seen such strange looking people. So when Goofy happened to be the first to come up to the table, I thought nothing of it. Until I look down and LLM is screaming in terror trying to scramble out of the high chair and into my lap. I'm so mean, I was laughing at my child's terror. I held him though and he calmed down so when Mickey and the rest of the gang stopped by he just held on to me watching them with wide eyes. I thought...OK then. He's a lot more cognizant than most kids this age. I mean the only reason I didn't think he'd react that way was because he's so friendly with other people. We'll see how he does with Santa next month...
Ok, let's see. This month LLM has been the little traveler. He went to Indianapolis with his daddy and visited with Mama K and Papa J. I have no idea how that went...someone didn't tell me. But as soon as they got back, I noticed LLM not eating as well as he normally did. He threw up a few times, but not enough to concern me or anyone, though I could tell something was a bit off. I paid no mind to it, assuming it was due to the hecticness of the travelling and just watched him while I prepared to take him off to Florida to visit my Disney friends.
He was acting normal and fine so I took him with me to Disney. YAY! His first Disney trip. Admittedly, this was much more for my happiness than his as he still has no clue about Disney (other than maybe watching Disney Jr in the morning). I was anxious about the plane trip, not knowing how he'd take the pressure changes etc. But not so anxious to not even consider taking him since it was a trip to Orlando, and without an inkling of a doubt there wouldn't be other small, possibly obnoxious children on board. He was an angel for the most part. But, next time...I vow not to forget his milk and bottles and sippy cup. I became that awkward mom that nurses in public. But what was I suppose to do? LLM was starving and tired. I wasn't going to sit in that tiny ass airplane bathroom...gross! At least I had a blanket... The way there he was wide awake and fine for all but the last half hr when he was hungry. The flight back, well lets say we both passed out most of the trip, him a lot longer than me. And when he was awake on that flight, he was happy...and even tried to play with the baby behind us who wasn't having such an easy time with the plane. I'm so proud of my punk'in. He kept trying to engage his little friend to try and cheer him up with smiles and talking. So we didn't do much there, I didn't want to over stimulate him... I mean just being there is overstimulating LOL. But we did do a character lunch and go to Mickey's Not so Scary Halloween. SO FUN!
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| naptime was on madmommys belly instead of the pnp... |
 |
| Happy Happy Baby!! |
Day 2:
The little guy was such a happy baby the whole weekend, he only fussed when he finally realized how hungry or tired he was. I mean literally he'd be ok 'til we sat down for 5 mins. The rest of the time he was just taking everything in. Someone didn't like the fireworks, but admittedly we were RIGHT in the middle of it all so it was quite loud. But again, if I held him, he was ok.
 |
| my little ewok |
OK, now to the genius comment. So LLM's got a passion for music. Anything music he'll stop what he's doing and if he likes it, starts bouncing. He LOVES the piano, and you can tell he has a preference for the piano over the keyboard. Ms Jill has an old, out of tune, broken piano and my parents have a keyboard - which sounds like a piano still but you know, if you're a pianist...theres a difference in the feel.
Here's my little Beethoven on Ms Jill's piano. You can see the missing keys. And its dreadfully out of tune but the idea is there. He likes to bang on it.
Genius moment: (and yes, I know I'm being dramatic and it's really just a random event but...) he was banging away while Ms Jill and I were talking and all of a sudden we hear... dun dun dun dunnnnn a la Beethoven's 5th Symphony.
It was one of those....
moments LOL.
 |
| happy 10 months <3 |
Thursday, October 4, 2012
9 amazing months
9 months and 2 days old! 16lbs 12oz, 29" tall!
I could have sworn he tipped the scales a bit more than that. But I'll take it as a kind of blessing in that my back which has been acting all old and shit gets a little reprieve knowing that he's only in the 3rd percentile in weight. Now if only I could find a solution for my pulled glutes...
Well, I've been super busy lately trying to get my life back on track. Running around playing Mary Kay consultant, SuperMommy, and Professional. Doesn't leave much time for blogging. Well that and since I sit at a computer all day I prefer my downtime to be spent a little more artsy on the creativity scale. Nail art is my new big thing to do to unwind at the end of the day. So blogging isn't on the top of my to do list unfortunately but I'll do my best to update at least once a month and on major milestones.
Little Man is pretty much right on target with every developmental stage at this point so as the good ol' doc said.. "well, he's perfect on paper". Of course I'd just go ahead and say he's perfect, but I'm quite biased. All I know is he's an amazing little boy, who rarely complains or cries, and just makes everyone around him happy. Sure, he's needy, what baby isn't? He loves to be around people, doesn't like to play by himself. Actually, for the most part has very little interest in playing with his own toys. At the end of the day, he's more content in my arms watching me cook dinner. When he's crabby because he's sick or tired, he can be clingy without liking to be held which is hard to deal with, but even then it's nothing like the stories I've heard of some kids.
He's cruising along the furniture now, getting braver and more sure of himself. Although he still is very cautious when getting up to stand or getting back to the floor. We've only had a handful of tumbles this whole time he's been learning how to move around.
My sweet boy is figuring out how to give 'high fives' and kisses. Sometimes grabbing my face and planting a big wet, slobbery kiss right on my mouth whenever he wants attention and I'm talking to someone else.
He's so, so curious, I may need to make a sensory book for him with buckles, zippers, and ribbons and such. Loves music and rattles...even tries to play with MadMommys prescription bottles since they sound like rattles when you shake them.
We have 3 teeth, a 4th one for sure on the way in the next week or so. Normally very quiet but he does have his moods where he's pretty much babbling non stop. And his smiles and giggles could nourish my soul forever.
I could have sworn he tipped the scales a bit more than that. But I'll take it as a kind of blessing in that my back which has been acting all old and shit gets a little reprieve knowing that he's only in the 3rd percentile in weight. Now if only I could find a solution for my pulled glutes...
Well, I've been super busy lately trying to get my life back on track. Running around playing Mary Kay consultant, SuperMommy, and Professional. Doesn't leave much time for blogging. Well that and since I sit at a computer all day I prefer my downtime to be spent a little more artsy on the creativity scale. Nail art is my new big thing to do to unwind at the end of the day. So blogging isn't on the top of my to do list unfortunately but I'll do my best to update at least once a month and on major milestones.
Little Man is pretty much right on target with every developmental stage at this point so as the good ol' doc said.. "well, he's perfect on paper". Of course I'd just go ahead and say he's perfect, but I'm quite biased. All I know is he's an amazing little boy, who rarely complains or cries, and just makes everyone around him happy. Sure, he's needy, what baby isn't? He loves to be around people, doesn't like to play by himself. Actually, for the most part has very little interest in playing with his own toys. At the end of the day, he's more content in my arms watching me cook dinner. When he's crabby because he's sick or tired, he can be clingy without liking to be held which is hard to deal with, but even then it's nothing like the stories I've heard of some kids.
He's cruising along the furniture now, getting braver and more sure of himself. Although he still is very cautious when getting up to stand or getting back to the floor. We've only had a handful of tumbles this whole time he's been learning how to move around.
My sweet boy is figuring out how to give 'high fives' and kisses. Sometimes grabbing my face and planting a big wet, slobbery kiss right on my mouth whenever he wants attention and I'm talking to someone else.
He's so, so curious, I may need to make a sensory book for him with buckles, zippers, and ribbons and such. Loves music and rattles...even tries to play with MadMommys prescription bottles since they sound like rattles when you shake them.
We have 3 teeth, a 4th one for sure on the way in the next week or so. Normally very quiet but he does have his moods where he's pretty much babbling non stop. And his smiles and giggles could nourish my soul forever.
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| after his bath in his glow in the dark jammies, madmommy decided it was time for a mohawk |
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| little man proudly posing so madmommy could show his aunties how much he loves his new outfit |
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| playing beethoven. ok, just pounding on an old piano but still got mad when i so rudely interrupted his madskills |
ALL DISNEY MOVIES 1937-2008
Admittedly this is probably more for my benefit than little mans....
Walt Disney Movie Collection 1937-2008
1937 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R9C1JEM71940 - Fantasia :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0B9UGDN31940 - Pinocchio :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VDE04OUB1941 - Dumbo :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G77SH6GR1941 - The Reluctant Dragon :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UDAHA8HK1942 - Bambi :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R59V2EIA1942 - Saludos Amigos :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=466JBY841943 - Victory Through Air Power :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H9WOQFW11945 - The Three Caballeros :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4BPDPBLK1946 - Make Mine Music :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5RG992BE1946 - Song of the South :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SE66ASI71947 - Fun and Fancy Free :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QXI013MC1948 - Melody Time :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=I6X6U6701949 - The Adventures Of Ichabod and Mr. Toad :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NUBFW4E31950 - Cinderella :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FSX4JVZO1951 - Alice in Wonderland :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T1ZEQ27A1953 - Peter Pan :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9H4VDBK81954 - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=IUOLW07G1955 - Lady and the Tramp :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YXT9CLP01957 - Old Yeller :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3M7XPJT11959 - Darby O’Gill and the Little People :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=72WHKK531959 - Sleeping Beauty :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZP6S4VCC1960 - Swiss Family Robinson :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VG0OXCO81961 - 101 Dalmatians :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TQIK2L4E1963 - The Sword in the Stone :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G3ACAFHT1964 - Mary Poppins :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WAJ94GSU1965 - That Darn Cat :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NKLZ4SQ01967 - The Jungle Book :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K00B163D1968 - The Love Bug :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3OOH82EZ1970 - The Aristocats :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PS6ZQOX81971 - Bedknobs and Broomsticks :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=THED64CH1971 - The Million Dollar Duck :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=C45MGDE31973 - Robin Hood :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SEILS5OZ1974 - Herbie Rides Again :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K7YEWAST1977 - Pete’s Dragon :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DHVODVLU1977 - The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JL6Q1W4P1977 - The Rescuers :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HDCK298D1981 - The Fox and the Hound :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZDSED6081982 - A Disney Christmas Gift :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=AHHNE2ND1985 - The Black Cauldron :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=W6G5YU0L1986 - The Great Mouse Detective :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SC7I0GOH1988 - Oliver & Company :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BZJRVVPE1988 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VJSFCTNP1989 - The Little Mermaid :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DVG11KO41990 - Ducktales The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XZWIL7IC1990 - The Rescuers Down Under :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RX3S0DBJ1991 - Beauty and the Beast :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GQEXAOQG1993 - The Nightmare Before Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CLPOLI5Y1994 - Aladdin -The Return of Jafar :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QJGIHJ5F1994 - Aladdin :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CNG77EP71994 - The Lion King :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VUFSDEV01995 - A Goofy Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VJDXLAWR1995 - Pocahontas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OB1VLPJJ1995 - Toy Story :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TSG5QTZM1996 - Aladdin and the King of Thieves :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9WI76MY01996 - James and the Giant Peach :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G3OVX6WG1996 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EUXBPLC01997 - Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BNYPGAA51997 - Hercules :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F62OB7MP1997 - Winnie The Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=M1YQ7GAI1998 - A Bug’s Life :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZV7YHWQ71998 - Belle’s Magical World :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1DDSEPLQ1998 - Mulan :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NLK2WYIB1998 - Pocahontas II - Journey to a New World :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EBF8INT61998 - The Lion King 2 - Simba’s Pride :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ESVTYQDO1999 - Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8HGBWTEO1999 - Tarzan :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4YG4KUG31999 - Toy Story 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=070LZ0621999 - Winnie The Pooh-Seasons of Giving :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GLZLY9Z32000 - An Extremely Goofy Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Z1WRI9ID2000 - Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command, The Adventure Begins :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SAXZT2QP2000 - Dinosaur :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1J85R9582000 - Fantasia 2000 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JDHRJT8A2000 - The Emperor’s New Groove :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GDW62S8F2000 - The Little Mermaid 2-Return to the Sea :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=E19TDQR02000 - The Tigger Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8G7VDQTJ2001 - Atlantis The Lost Empire :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KDFJLIC12001 - Lady And The Tramp II - Scamp’s Adventure :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CVHHY7XA2001 - Mickey’s Magical Christmas-Snowed In at the House of Mouse :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=U3G1R1QW2001 - Monsters, Inc. :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PHJT0P8Z2002 - Cinderella II - Dreams Come True :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PH4G7LJQ2002 - Lilo And Stitch :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TNIC9M8B2002 - Mickey’s House of Mouse - The Villains :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Z73S4Z5J2002 - Return to Never Land :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=MGCJVZC52002 - Tarzan & Jane :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=79TKL0842002 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=Q1YIP40O2002 - Treasure Planet :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FP2MLN132002 - Winnie the Pooh-A Very Merry Pooh Year :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NBYQYPPG2003 - 101 Dalmatians 2 - Patch’s London Adventure :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3JP3MP2L2003 - Atlantis 2 Milo’s Return :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=LMBD1E5Z2003 - Brother Bear :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KJKO7Y4T2003 - Finding Nemo :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1VAU2XYQ2003 - Kim Possible - A Stitch In Time :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DYUAF6WM2003 - Piglet’s Big Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1A183GMF2003 - Stitch! The Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G61NDSEW2003 - The Jungle Book 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=P7E6AE922004 - Home On The Range :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BDKJBQF22004 - Kim Possible - The Villain Files :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=248DVYR92004 - Mickey Donald Goofy-The Three Musketeers :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GV0PDQLH2004 - Mickeys Twice Upon a Christmas :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=99PVVXYV2004 - Mulan II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=S0MLNTR02004 - The Incredibles :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OCEBDZLL2004 - The Lion King 1-1.5 - Hakuna Matata :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=450ZC7XS2004 - Winnie the Pooh - Springtime With Roo :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OSGHXV9K2005 - Chicken Little :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WMFFHBOS2005 - Disney’s Christmas Favourites :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=D5P74PIW2005 - Kim Possible - So The Drama :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HSGIW6UE2005 - Kronk’s New Groove :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ELADT7B02005 - Lilo and Stitch 2 - Stitch has a Glitch :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WLF26OLK2005 - Pooh’s Heffalump Movie :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=R5SYCL1H2005 - Tarzan II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T8KTMBWF2006 - Bambi II :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SPR6QUNH2006 - Brother Bear 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HIYGCVJ52006 - Cars :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SUATPQD42006 - Leroy & Stitch :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1XQJ8KV92006 - The Fox and the Hound 2 :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EFK91H0M2007 - Cinderella III - A Twist in Time :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OGTKVZJ02007 - Disney Princess Enchanted Tales - Follow Your Dreams :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5HDNM4BJ2007 - Enchanted :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NG2ZUPH82007 - Meet The Robinsons :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NQ2EL7D12008 - Bolt :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PDZL74982008 - The Little Mermaid - Ariel’s Beginning :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0SRTNIBR2008 - Tinker Bell :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T9YG4HP12008 - Wall-E :http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6UIJ1FWK
Monday, September 24, 2012
The ugly.
I don't particularly experience "mom guilt" or "nanny envy", but there are times when I do feel the pangs of guilt and envy when it comes to the little man. Most are just slight pangs, quickly squashed by reminding myself that a. this is the life that's best for both of us and b. its normal. However, there are those that are not just slight pangs...these are full blown panic attack inducing mind distortions. These moments tend to occur when involving the little man's daddy. Now, technically I'm still married to the man so I guess he's still my husband. But I've been living apart from him now for several months. And if you're counting...that's most of little man's little life so far.
The little guy has been amazing adjusting between the two homes, though getting his daddy to stick to an actual schedule made my life a living hell for a while. I really can't say anything bad about him, he is a great loving father. But...he and I are VERY different. It'll be interesting to see who the little one will take after more. If I could guess, I can see a good balance between the 2. Hopefully the better parts of both of us.
Anyway, slightly off topic. So having the 2 homes, I do often have to relinquish time with him to his father. Which is fine. Most of the time. Lately, I've noticed that when he's with me (he sleeps in a pack and play for now...crib is on its way), he wakes up once or twice a night. I've asked the 'husband' about it and he claims he sleeps fine and eats well and is happy and everything when he's with him. It makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. Not that I'm doing anything wrong...but why? I mean... he spends the majority of his time with me, so he should be more comfortable right? I'm not sure... it makes me unsure of myself. It makes me insecure. I hate that. I'm a mean, ugly person when I'm jealous and insecure...and that comes out with the baby daddy. It's not a good time right now for me. I'm happier than I would be if I still lived with the husband but in some ways...it makes me so angry and jealous when the little guy behaves more for daddy than me.
The little guy has been amazing adjusting between the two homes, though getting his daddy to stick to an actual schedule made my life a living hell for a while. I really can't say anything bad about him, he is a great loving father. But...he and I are VERY different. It'll be interesting to see who the little one will take after more. If I could guess, I can see a good balance between the 2. Hopefully the better parts of both of us.
Anyway, slightly off topic. So having the 2 homes, I do often have to relinquish time with him to his father. Which is fine. Most of the time. Lately, I've noticed that when he's with me (he sleeps in a pack and play for now...crib is on its way), he wakes up once or twice a night. I've asked the 'husband' about it and he claims he sleeps fine and eats well and is happy and everything when he's with him. It makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. Not that I'm doing anything wrong...but why? I mean... he spends the majority of his time with me, so he should be more comfortable right? I'm not sure... it makes me unsure of myself. It makes me insecure. I hate that. I'm a mean, ugly person when I'm jealous and insecure...and that comes out with the baby daddy. It's not a good time right now for me. I'm happier than I would be if I still lived with the husband but in some ways...it makes me so angry and jealous when the little guy behaves more for daddy than me.
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