#weverb12, 11

11. spend/save [LIVE]: Are you richer or poorer this year, compared to last year?

First off. What kind of empty question is this? I know the prompts are suppose to be open ended, inspiring reflection but I'm not sure this one really inspires me today.

Financially, I'm poorer. In fact. I'm darn near broke.  I have a spending problem, which doesn't allow for much savings.  Plus having kids is expensive.  I'm ok with that, knowing I'm richer in most of the other aspects of my life.  Wealth isn't about money.  Cliche, but true.  I have grown closer to friends and family.  I have the innocence of LLM and the fascination in everything around us.  I mean, having LLM in my life enriches my life a hundred fold.  That's worth every failing in the past year.  I've branched out and met a whole new group of people whom inspire me every week to get out there.  And, I have a new endeavor which will at some point add more financially to my life as well...at some point.

Financially next year I will probably be broke.  But, I know that would only be temporary.  I can find ways to make more...  In the words of Grandpa George (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) "There's plenty of money out there, they print more every day...but this ticket-there's only five of them in the whole world, and that's all there's ever going to be.  Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?" NO SIR.  

#weverb12, 10.

10. lose [HOPE]: Did you have to say goodbye to a person, or even a cherished object, this year? Take a moment to celebrate the memory

Oh dear... don't get me started.  Though part of me doesn't want to 'celebrate' the memory, I would celebrate the story.  Because if it weren't the story, I wouldn't be who I am today and I certainly would not have LLM in my life.  Every person who comes into and walks out of your life is a lesson.  Every lesson shapes you into the person you're meant to be.

#weverb12 update 8 - 9

Again, the weekend got busy, and though I did post these to Instagram, it never made it's way here.

8. respond [LISTEN]: Do you actively listen to your inner voice/conscience? Describe a time this year you heard and responded to it.

My inner voice is my constant companion.  The little Jiminy Cricket inside has encouraged/restrained/guided me through the ups and downs of this year.  There's been plenty of times I've wanted to impulsively act on anger and many of those times I stopped to listen to that voice that says...wait. breathe. Actions and words have the power to damage, and while they can be forgiven it's never forgotten.  Sometimes you just have to stop and listen. Take the view in from a different perspective.

9. triumph [CREATE]: How were you challenged by a project or goal this year? What did you learn from it?

While there are many things I'm not proud of, and many of those which occurred in this past year, I am proud of how I've been as a mom.  There was one goal I had in mind, and that was to do the best I could do for LLM.  That included breastfeeding for a year. Don't get me wrong. I'd love to not have to pump anymore, but knowing i'm only 3 weeks away from hitting that goal out of 52 weeks?...Dammit I'm gonna finish.

Honestly, I can't think of anything else that I can say "I wouldn't change anything about what I did" except for what I've done as a mom.  It's a learning experience, and I've learned a lot...but despite the hurdles, I came out triumphant.

#weverb12 day 7

7. enliven [GROW]: Was there a book or article that inspired you to make a change in your life this year? What was the source and what did you change?

I had to think about this one a little. Normally, there wouldn't be any kind of book that would inspire anything other than my imagination. However in light of all that's happened and in the search for answers I found myself reading something other than the normal paranormal fantasy and romance. Sure there were plenty, but this is one that was new.

It didn't necessarily inspire me to make a change though. I originally read it hoping it would inspire feelings and a desire for more, it didn't for me but it did help me to see things from a different perspective.

All said and done, I would definitely recommend this book to any couple. I believe it's a good resource into understanding one another, especially if there's miscommunication.

#weverb12, cook

 6. cook [LIVE]: What was your best recipe/dish of the year? Share it!

Best? Hm, Not sure... Ask my family. LOL.  I love to cook, and the family "loves" my cooking. Or so they say.  Obviously, I like my cooking...simply because it's made to taste the way I like it.  I have a few experimental recipes in the books...

If I make something new (or change up an existing recipe that I've printed off) that I personally really enjoyed, I try to remember to write it down in my 'cookbook'.  I started this binder in college, saving baking recipes I'd printed from the good old internet.  It soon merged into a melange of recipes, appetizers, entrees, etc.  Things I've successfully tried, and things I would like to try.  I'm more of a baker, just because I have a major sweet tooth and love cupcakes. Love isn't even a strong enough word...I'm obsessed with cupcakes. 

So, here's my Vanilla Buttermilk-Up Cupcake recipe which is a mash up of a vanilla/red velvet/soda cake.  I had a mad scientist moment in my kitchen. 

1 1/2 c sugar

1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temp

2 eggs, room temp

2 1/3 c cake flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

~3/4 c buttermilk

~1/4 c cherry 7-up <y'all are gettin' my secret ingredient here ;)

1/2 tsp vanilla powder (= 2 tsp vanilla extract)

1 tsp distilled white vinegar

1. Preheat oven to 350°F

2. Beat sugar and butter until fluffy...I just let it go for about 3-5 mins if I have the time

3. Add eggs, one at at time, beating until incorporated

4. Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and vanilla powder in a separate bowl.

5. In another bowl, mix buttermilk, vinegar, and 7-up (if using vanilla extract add it here instead of w the dry stuff)

6. Add 1/4 of the flour mixture to the batter, then 1/3 of the buttermilk mix.  Alternating dry and wet, ending with the dry mixture

7. Scoop into cupcake liners about half full.  Bake for 18-20 mins.

8. Let cool for 1 min in pan, and then cool completely on wire rack

9. Frost/glaze/etc...whatever.  I personally just use a vanilla cream cheese frosting, as it's my favorite kind of frosting.  

Makes 2-2 1/2 dozen cupcakes

Enjoy!

#weverb12 Day 4

Day 4..experiment

4. experiment [GROW]: What did you do in 2012 that you had never done before? Will you do it again?

Well technically I became a mom in 2011 but 2 says before the new year so I'm gonna count it. But with that, shortly after LLM was born, I discovered within me different person. A stronger person. And I grabbed onto that persona. It's simple really. I changed.

And yes, I'd do it again. I'm learning that stepping out of my comfort zone isn't as scary as I thought. I've learned that successful people do something that terrifies them every day. I'm working on that becoming more me In the process.

It's not a pretty process but, letting everything fall apart at my feet tore me down to my basic innermost self. And I'm working on rebuilding the rest of me without putting the old pieces back in the same place.

#weverb12, reflect and renew

In the spirit of today's prompt,

#weverb12

I'm going to take a moment to talk about this blog encouraging 31 days of reflection and hope for this past year and next, respectively.  It's completely voluntary, responding to the prompts given Dec 1 - 31.  I actually started this on the 1st and hopefully I won't have a fail moment like with my 30 Days of Thanks attempt.

I've been doing these on my instagram feed (@mstsa) which I do keep private, but I'll try to post my reflections here as well.  So, to catch up:

1. compose [CREATE]: Write a haiku for 2012 (bonus: write one for 2013)

2. watch [LIVE]: What movie did you see this year that you would recommend to a friend?

3. stay [LISTEN]: How did you stay in the moment this year?

I have lived in the moment the majority of this year. Life is full of moments, big and small, but we oft forget to appreciate the small ones; the daily moments that make us unique individuals. We have happy moments, sad moments, painful moments, learning moments... taking the time to be aware of all of them and maybe more importantly...allowing them to happen. Having LLM has really helped me to appreciate all the little things. Every smile, every kiss, every word. Life is a wonderful thing and I've attempted this year not to squander the gifts we are given every day.

As the saying goes:

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow's a Mystery, Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the Present.