Raising a toddler when your family structure isn't what people would call "normal" is walking a fine line between being a good parent and being a...not-so-good parent. It's difficult to enforce rules and the guilt is overwhelming. No mother ever wants to see their child cry. I'm not sure what goes on at his dad's. I'm not sure I want to know. I have enough trouble trying to not let the guilt get to me when it comes to LLM. Now, it's not that kind of guilt where I'd actually consider putting my own heart to the side for his benefit. No. If there's one thing I learned this past year it's if I'm not in a good place mentally and emotionally, I can't focus on being a good parent.
The separation anxiety has hit. It's not so bad but when he does cry for me...its like an invisible fist has punched through my stomach and taken a good handful of guts and squeezed. OK, it's really not that bad. But I do feel guilty sometimes and have to remind myself that as soon as I'm out of sight he'll be ok. But what do I do when I'm in the same room but need my hands free and he's at my ankles hugging my leg crying to be picked up? It's cute...and I want to pick him up, but he also needs to learn that he has to wait. Because I certainly can't put on clothes, or wash my face, or prepare dinner while he's in my arms wanting to grab everything within reach. From the day he was born, he was never left to play by himself. I think obviously because he's my first so I play with him, but also at grandmas everyone hovers over him every single waking moment... and then at the sitters there's all kinds of kids running around playing with him there too. So when it's just me and him... he's very demanding of my time.
How do you teach a child patience when you aren't a patient person and have mommy guilt?
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